What just happened?!

So I'm graduating soon. I know because everyone keeps reminding me, not so much because it's on my mind. Apparently I'm fixated on exactly two weeks after the graduation date, which naturally means that the end of school has seriously snuck up on me. I had a sort of "aha" moment as I was walking down the hall at school today and realized that my Kogod days were numbered. It's a staggering thought, and it leaves me feeling all sorts of emotions. I have no intentions of pursuing another degree after this one, which means I'm about to enter into my last finals week. Ever. Today I had my last Derivatives class. Ever. Monday is my last graduate class. Ever. How did this time come so quickly?

Of course, I'm excited about this accomplishment. It's been a long, grueling lesson on time management and how to play well with others, and it feels good to finish something I've worked so hard at. I honestly feel like grad school is the best investment I've ever made, and of course it's exhilarating to reach the pinnacle of said investment.

But it also means that it's almost time for another transition.

I like school. I think I'm pretty good at school. I've grown quite comfortable with my current circumstances and acquaintances as a student. I love the constant flow of new and different information that keeps my brain from atrophy. As I sat in class tonight, I was consciously trying to savor whatever last vestiges of wisdom I could glean from my brilliant professor. I feel in my element when I'm roaming the halls of Kogod, and I'll always retain a high level of gratitude for what I have gained from this school.

I don't like change. I know it's good for me and whatever, but that doesn't make it any less unpleasant. It's like moving from the top of one ladder to the bottom rung of another. When I was younger, I was much better at doing things that absolutely freaked me out on a regular basis - like leaving home for college, living in Spain, moving to DC - because I knew it would help me to grow. But after I got to DC and life became a little more stable, I slowed down a bit on the freak-out activities. School has upped the frequency a little, but I'm still feeling a little rusty. (In case you're wondering, I'm not referring here to change of a marital nature. Like I mentioned, I think about that change so much that I forget about my own graduation.) Now, I've been "career girl" before, and I know it has its perks too. I'm just suddenly not in such a hurry to get back there. I'd like to spend a little more time in warm and cozy academia, rather than venture out into the big, bad, menacing real world.

But you know what? Every one of those freak-out transitions had their growing pains, but then they became something beautiful. I just had to acclimate and start climbing that ladder.

I guess that means all I have left to do is figure out which ladder it's going to be...